A different kind of stress

So for the past 4 years really, I have been trying to raise my family while also going to school to get my nursing degree. This was tough. I can't put into words how hard it really was. Bitty #1 was born in July, and I returned to school in August, a short 6 weeks later. ( I know some of you mamma's do this with work too....::hugs::) The first semester I was part time and had wonderful friends and family who watched bitty while I was in class. But my mommy brain prevailed and I struggled to stay focused on my schooling. I finished the fall semester successfully and began my spring semester. I just wasn't all there. I dropped my full time class because my grade was not what I was wanting, and I just couldn't fully apply myself. I resumed classes again in the fall this time with more determination to prevail.

I started my clinicals finally in the fall of '07. Six consecutive semesters of grueling hours, classes, papers, CARE PLANS, and unsympathetic professors. If bitty would get sick, I would have to be up with her during the night, or have to stay home with her during the day and have to play catch up. That first semester I missed a test due to an ear infection, and ended up having to write a 10 page paper in 4 days as make-up, otherwise I would recieve a big fat zero. Might I add that in order to stay in the program, you had to maintain a B average AND maintain a 74 average on all of your tests. If that didn't happen, you wouldn't pass the class. So do the math, receiving a zero on 1 out of 3 tests wasn't feasible. Every semester at least one person wouldn't make it. I was determined not to be that person. Ever. Some semesters came close, too close for comfort. But if I learned one thing about myself, it was that I worked best under pressure. [Not the most fun thing to learn]

The following fall, we encountered a very strange and stressful situation. Bitty became very sick. After a few nights of waking up screaming, my mommy gut said something just wasn't right. Following 2 trips to the ER, she was admitted to the childrens hospital. The doctors were at a loss. Bittys symptoms were screaming and kicking in inconsolable pain, clumsiness, and a generalized weakness. By the time we were admitted, she wasn't strong enough to hold her own weight, and couldn't stand or walk. [Pause] I am struggling writing this because it is bringing back a flood of emotion.

Bitty on the phone with daddy

Anyways, the Neurologist came in one morning and handed me paperwork on Guillain-Barre Syndrome (GBS). It was a possibility. I had no idea what to expect. The research didn't have evidence of this in someone so young (she was just 2). The pediatric consultant and neurologist were not convinced, but were failing to find an explanation. It was eventually decided to start a treatment that was debatable whether or not to help, but shouldn't have any negative affects. 2 days of treatment, and there wasn't really anything left that the doctors could do, plus we were tired of the hospital. Bitty was released and we went home. At home, bitty was still unable to hold her weight and would crawl to get places. As they days went on, she was regaining strength, and walking to and from pieces of furniture. [ such as babes do when learning to walk. ] Point of this story is that I was in my semester of med-surge. There was a policy that if you missed more then 2 days of class you lost a whole 5% of your grade for participation. That means if you had a 85% (B) it would drop you to an 80% (B-). So not only was I struggling in keeping up on my material and trying just to pass my tests, I was faced with this stupid little rule. I thought for sure, beings all I went through, my professor would surely make an exception. WRONG. A rule is a rule, and it was clearly stated, thus no exceptions. (or so she says). Somehow, I still managed to pass the class. (Think nursing is my destiny? I do. It has to be. Someone was looking out for me). Ahhh. I could go on and on. So many obstacles, such a large mountain to climb. Definitely my Mt. Everest of life so far. So to make a long story short, I have overcome all of that and am now an officially registered Nurse in the state of CO. {passing boards is another story}

Yay! Look at me, I'm a grad!


Me and the Fam


Me and my super supporting loving hubbee!
(I love you Babe)

Something I reminded myself of often was the fact that I was graduating with more then a degree, I was graduating with a husband and two kids!


How does this relate to me blogging? Well, since graduation, I am officially a full-time stay at home mommy. I no longer have, as streesssful as it was, school as an outlet. So, I now turn to blogger.com as my outlet! (facebook was my gateway drug, lol) I am and always have been a pretty private person, but writing my thoughts down is way more therapeutic then I had imagined. I hope you find something to enjoy, relate with, or even pass along. This is my journey. Take from it what you will, and occasionally leave me your two cents!

until next time,