Frustration

So I am really frustrated with my pumping work set-up. Or maybe lack of set-up for better terms. The past two weeks I have been in orientation in classrooms. I haven't been on the floor and our days are extremely structured. This makes it awkward to leave, but not impossible. I don't really have a problem with excusing myself for 15-20 minutes even when it misses the break by 5-10 minutes :)
HOWEVER. I don't really have a conducive place to pump. The first day I was given an empty conference room. The next day it was occupied so I was moved up to an exam room on a floor. That worked for a few days but then yesterday it was being used, so the NM (nurse manager) told me I could use the staff bathroom. Ok I said, lets check it out. Yes, there was an outlet, but no place to sit! Not to mention a cold dark bathroom isn't really pumping friendly. Do you have to really think about that long to come to that conclusion on your own? So I simply mentioned the lack of a place to sit {in the restroom} and she got flustered and finally offered an office not being used. The main issue I have is the pressure I feel not to be pumping, like formula would be so much  more convenient for everyone else.
So I sat in the office after she said, "Don't go through any of my papers" and held back tears. Why doesn't anyone here understand or offer empathy? I'm sure someone here has been a working/pumping mother.
All I am wanting is for a place that I can go without having to disturb anyone or "bug" them. Being able to just slip away do my business and come back. I don't want to have to involve anyone in the process or be reliant on someone else to find or make a space available for me. Maybe I am asking to much? But in the mean time I waiver on something that I don't have any reason to be unsure about. I thankfully have a plentiful milk supply and it wouldn't make sense to waste it simply because it's inconvenient for those around me. I feel really discouraged with the thought of having to fight this battle every time I have to go to work. That stress in itself now will probably affect my milk supply. AH.
Sincerely,
Simply Frustrated.
Any suggestions? Words of advice? Comfort?

Wordless Wednesday

Back to it!

I don't know why its back to it, because I'll be starting work for the first time in almost 6 years. Its going to be much different then school and being at home with the girls. The good news is that after the first 3 weeks, my position will be PRN or as needed, and I will be able to pretty much set my own schedule to include the shifts and days I want. This will allow me to work as little or as much as I want, which for me will be about 24 hours a week. This will *hopefully* cover the cost of my student loans and daycare. Hrmph. The fact that I will be working solely to pay for those two things and not to finally have extra money kindof makes me sad and grumpy. Oh well. Yes Mom, I am glad I will have the ability for pay for those things at least! :)

So, this opens the door to coming home right at dinner time every night and wondering how I will manage fixing and preparing meals! I know I will have to plan ahead. Sounds simple right? And really it is, but grocery shopping has to be done in advance to have the necessary stuff to make what is planned or all of the planning goes out the front door when I open it to get the pizza from the pizza delivery guy! So here is my plan: Make 4 meals out of the 5 work days and use leftovers for lunches. The 5th day is a freebie and will be take-out/leftovers/whatever-you-can-find-thats-edible night. I know that we all fall into monotonous routines and need fresh new ideas for meals, even if they are the someone else's everyday go-to that they are sick of.

Meal One:
Brats on the grill
Veggies
Baked Beans

Meal Two:
Spaghetti w/meatballs
Cesar salad
Bread

Meal Three:
Beef stir fry w/veggies
rice

Meal Four:
Breakfast for dinner! :)
Biscuits & Gravy
Sausage
Eggs
Fruit

This week was quick, so I have a few of the ol' staples in there....hopefully I will be branching out a little more in the future!

Thanks for all your recent words of encouragement regarding the house/job etc. Hopefully everything will go smoothly this week. Thanks to my wonderful mother in advance for coming down and watching the girls!! Not having to worry about your kids while being away is a wonderful feeling. Now just to get used to pumping at work. Any suggestions from the mama's who do this? I'm very anxious and apprehensive. What if they don't have a comfortable place to pump? Will I have to go into the bathroom? My car? Is there a plug-in there? Will I have time to eat and pump?
Ah!
Wish me luck!

Photo tour :)

Some of you have requested to see the house....

Front Door :) If you look closely you can see the reflection of Pikes Peak!

We'll start in the back of the house since that is how they loaded :)

                                                                     Master Bath

                                                                  

                                                                      Master Bedroom

                                                                 Kitchen & Dining

                                                                    From the front door

                                                                     Jaylynn's Room

View out the front door.....def. gonna miss this!

 I am missing a few rooms and the basement but you get the idea. Siennas room is missing for some reason, I'll have to get that taken care of...

Enjoy!

I'm on my second cup...

Today is definitely a two-cup kinda day. Of coffee that is. Normally I have one cup from my oneacup and that is it due to nursing bitty. I don't need any extra reasons for her not to sleep well. But today is different. We have officially listed our house FOR SALE. It went on the MLS the begining of the week. Excuse me while I yell into my couch.
:: Yells, Screams, Punches, Pulls hair out::

Ok, i'm back.
This is all overwhelming.
And today we have our first official showing.
Yes. And I was supposed to start work this week.
OH. And Bitty #2 is still recovering from surgery and needing her pain medicine q 4 hours. (Esp. at night)
So you can see why I loathe love how crazy life is and needed an extra boost this morning.
I will keep you all updated as to the status and happenings as I have time.
Until then,

Ecomom gift card winner!

Sorry for the delay

and the winner is...................
::drumroll::

Brendan & Katie

#2 I am a fan of Ecomom on facebook already (actually before i saw i needed to be on here.. :) )

Yay! Email me to claim your prize.

And to the rest of you who only watch..............you can't win if you don't enter~!

My Brave Bitty

Surgery went well. She had a great attitude and did not act scared at all, just a little nervous/unsure of what all was going on. She woke up from anesthesia much better then I had predicted, so that was a nice surprise. Its been a little rougher now that bedtime is approaching and the pain is setting in. Heres crossing our fingers that she will have a semi comfortable nights rest!

In other news, I got a job offer! Yay! Makes a girl feel a little better. We shall see what the future holds :)

Til next time,

Tomorrow's the big day

Well here it is. Tuesday night and the night before Jaylynn's surgery. I won't be writing much but I'll leave you with this pic. It was after her blood draw yesterday. She was SO brave and intently watched from start to finish. (Even I don't like watching someone poke me). Then at the end, she wanted to take her tube of blood home with us. I think we might have a future nurse/doctor on our hands! Wish us luck for tomorrow!

Its going to be a crazy week!

I am feeling very apprehensive on this Monday morning. As I sit here sipping my coffee for which I was all out of milk and had to use a hazelnut creamer that expired last week, I am going over the weeks events to come in my mind. On Wednesday, Bitty #1 will be having surgery. She is having her tonsils and adenoids removed. Now, bear in mind, that 2 years ago she had tubes placed in her ears. This involved her being put under, to which I have horrible memories that will forever be burned in my mind. I went back to the OR room with her as they put her to sleep. I held her hand and whispered in her ear as her normally active body slowly went motionless and limp. {HORRIFYING} I know it was just anesthesia, but still, very traumatizing.
For this procedure, she will be undergoing general anesthesia, which requires a breathing tube. As I sat in her pre-op appt last week signing the consent form, I felt as if every bone in my body was trembling. What kind of a mother listens to the consent and then signs it? This could be fatal!! Well, okay. I am a nurse after all. These procedures happen several times a day and go off with out a hitch. The likelihood of anything actually going wrong is similar to taking a 500+ mile road trip and being in a fatal car accident. But we still take road trips right? Still, my mommy brain takes over my nursing brain and so here I sit, freaking out. I mentioned to bitty that she would be having this done, with out going grossly into detail. I want her to somewhat be prepared without scaring the tar out of her as well. So, today we have to go get pre-op labs which I feel may be just as traumatizing for the bitty. If you could, think of us kindly this week. :)